Before and during..... I originally had before and after when I posted this picture to Facebook and my lovely cousin had messaged me and made a comment about "before and during" and it hit me- I am still "during" in my journey. I am not at my "after" point yet, I'm still a newbie lol. When I look at the left picture I barely recognize those two people. This was taken September 2015 on my oldest first day of kindergarten by her actually. This was one day after I did my first official workout with 21 day fix. 2 weeks before that I saw a picture of myself and my youngest and was almost in tears with how far I let myself go. I had 3 babies in a little under 4 years and mom life and laziness caught up to me. When I look at the left picture I see forced smiles, a couple uncomfortable in their bodies, not only in size but also the "chore" of carrying around all that weight... and I see shame and guilt. When I see the right picture- taken February 2017- I see true happiness, PRIDE, change, I can see us both standing up taller feeling proud of our accomplishments SO FAR. I see a couple still so in love after 16 years together, a couple going on this journey together so that we can better ourselves and show our children healthy examples. We want to be there when our grandkids are born, and graduate and god willing see a great grandkid be born! (scary to think since my oldest is only 7 and I am only 31). I want to keep this picture close by so I can look back someday with another "during" picture and be amazing at the starting point. I want to post this to maybe inspire and motivate someone else to make that change- no matter how small- that could turn your world upside down in the most amazing way. I don't post to brag or for praise, I do it so I can always look back and see how far I've come and to remember those moments, relive those high highs and the low lows. Every step in this journey is important, how you deal with and process a bad day or bad run makes a huge difference. My journey is still "during" I'm not finished yet. What is one tip you have for a newbies journey? What was your tipping point to make a change?
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"The highs are so short lived but you remember them forever." - Nikki Kimball (Finding Traction) This quote speaks to me on so many levels.... I watched Finding Traction (on netflix) while I ran today- short description is Finding Traction presents the inspirational story of ultra runner Nikki Kimball's quest to become the fastest person in history to run America's oldest hiking trail, the 273-mile Long Trail. Through Nikki's incredible journey, racing towards a dream and against time, we gain a new perspective on what we all share in terms of endurance and the human spirit. (taken from IMDB.com) I remember the feeling I had as I yelled to Grant "I just ran 1 mile TWICE" with tears in my eyes. And that was just 20 weeks ago.... today a smooth 4 miles. I had moments I wanted to quit, I had moments in my head thinking "this is hard" BUT as I watched this woman and listened to her words I kept pushing on. I am no ultra marathoner, I have only done one race and that was a slow 5 miles but it still felt like Nikki was speaking to me. I crave that runners high and that satisfaction that I did it. I did it all on my own- me vs the treadmill, me vs my mind. I get emotional when I think back on my journey so far, I'll add the picture that I referenced above. I can see the emotion in my eyes, I can feel the emotion as I read what I wrote. I feel that pride and sense of accomplishment. Another quote from Nikki Kimball fits perfect here -
So I leave you with my final thoughts - Hold on to those moments, relive those feelings - not just in running but in life. So leave a comment - let me know a quote that helps motivate you! Hey all! If you see the title you already know "every day is different". A quick breaking news for you... I am a women and with that comes monthly cycles (and I am not talking about a bike!) My stamina, endurance, and drive are ALWAYS affected by my cycle. I know when I start having the "do I really want to run today" feeling it is usually a day or two before my cycle starts. I have to force myself to run and almost always feel better afterwards. With that also comes lovely hormones- like today- my belly was topsy turny, and I just wasn't feeling it. So what did I do..... I decided to walk. I went into my treadmill time with no expectations except to move. I did my usual set up with my iPad opened to Netflix and just walked. After about a mile I jogged for a little while and when it started feeling off I walked again. I didn't break any speed records but I was moving and that works for me!
Like in my first blog post I know that this running journey will have its ups and downs. I know that every run will not be a PR, not every run will give me that "Runners high" that I crave, BUT every run will make me a better person. Every time I am moving and not being a lazy slug (haha like I previously was) will put me one step closer to my goal. And what is that goal? To continue to better myself, to continue to move, to be an example for my children, to inspire and motivate others. I don't have a goal weight other than to get to a healthier weight- if I try to focus on a number I know I would end up obsessing and failing and getting frustrated if the numbers didn't move. I want this journey to continue to be a positive one, I want to continue to want to run, I don't want to lose that excitement and giddiness before a run.... and that runners high, man nothing compares to that! So tell me how do you deal with your cycle? Any tips and tricks? hey all! If you didn't see my other pictures you might not know I am a Skirt sports ambassador! What that means for you?! Well let me tell you!
A short introduction for you, my name is Amy I live in Wisconsin with my husband Grant and our 3 kids Aryssa (7), Carson (5) and Maycee (3). I played tennis in high school and was semi active throughout my early adulthood. 2008 I married my high school sweetheart and shortly after that became pregnant with our first child (2009), then 25 months later our second (2011), and 21 months after that our third (2013)!
I was always a fan of walking and never even thought about running- I hold my weight in my legs and booty and honestly the thought of running scared me! I had tried and failed some diets and even joined a gym for a short time…. but always reverted back to lazy ways. In August 2015 I saw a picture of myself and was almost in tears with how far I had let myself go. I decided to try some work out videos at home. I had some great success in the first 21 days I lost 5 lbs and 11.7 inches! With that I was also walking to and from my daughters school (1 mile in the morning 1 mile in the afternoon) 3 days a week and 1 mile 2 days a week. I stayed pretty consistent working out with those 30 min dvd’s 4-5 days a week. I felt strong! I ordered the extreme versions in December 2015 and continued on my way. The problem was I quickly would get bored, lost the excitement of the workouts. I didn’t feel like 30 min was really doing anything. So I started doing an extreme in the morning and a regular with my husband at night. I was feeling strong but the weight plateaued and I was stuck in a rut. Then July 26, 2016 we got a call we never expected…. My husbands father…. something happened…. get here. My father in law passed away from a sudden and massive heart attack at the young age of 61. We were in shock, but with that it really hit my husband, “that could be me in 30 years if I don’t make a change.” After the funeral life began to take on a new normal, my husband got up early and went for a mile walk before work. He made a conscious effort to get up more from his desk and quit drinking soda. That sparked me to again focus on my journey. With it being summer I walked with the kids to a park that is always quiet, and that was the first day in probably 5-7 years I ran. I ran one lap around the park 4 times which probably totaled .4 of a mile. BUT I did it! That weekend as a family we went back to that park and my husband and I both ran that lap a couple times. I was elated, it was a feeling I had not felt in a long time if ever before. That following Monday I was able to run 2 laps at a time around that park! And I didn’t totally hate it! We began hiking as a family on the weekends, hitting up state parks and local trails. In August with another Wisconsin winter in the future we decided to go treadmill shopping. On August 24, 2016 I attempted my first treadmill run, I was able to run 2 laps ( .50 mile ) out of 2 miles. I couldn’t believe it and couldn’t wait to do it again!!! I then started to do one lap walking one lap running and would average 3.25 miles total. Through this new found love of running I have had not only the amazing support of my husband but also my cousins Ashley and Amy. Ashley was helpful in answering my newbie questions and then pushing me to try more. She encouraged me to try running half a mile before walking, then 1 mile etc. ME, did she just ask ME a non runner to run 1 mile?!?!? I still didn’t consider myself a runner, I couldn’t run any consecutive distance, I was a walker who ran sometimes. Ashely and Amy continuously encouraged and bashed into my head “you ARE a runner!” “you run, that means you are a runner”. I stopped second guessing myself and finally began feeling that “ I AM a runner”. I started to run without stopping and slowly up my distance. Now this running journey has not been all rainbows and smiles. Running is hard and a test no matter your skill level or length of time you have been running. Amy invited me to join a local moms running group and decided to go on my first official outdoor run with her and one of her friends. Let me tell you it was HARD, it was HORRIBLE, It was emotional. Running on the treadmill had been easy, smooth and “perfect” how can outside be so hard?! I came home from that first failed outdoor run, cried on my husbands shoulder and then sucked it up and ran 2 miles on my treadmill- easily and steady. A church friend called me after seeing my Facebook post and just talked with me. I couldn’t let that one outdoor run break me, the next day I tried again, again it was hard but a little easier. That’s when my lovely cousin dropped a bomb on me—- “lets do the 5 mile turkey trot run on Thanksgiving day!” WHAT you mean like OUTSIDE!?!? and where other people can see me?! BUT a month later we did it, I did it! Our finish wasn’t fast, but the whole way she encouraged me and pushed me when I needed pushing. Amy found us when we were on the final stretch and snapped a quick picture of us and gave me a ton of encouraging words. I came home to handmade cards and pictures from my kids and husband, and a permanent smile that no-one could take away from me. I am now able to run 3-5 miles and am starting to work on speed. I can happily say I am now able to break a 10 min mile and today my 3 miles were at a 9:50 min pace. Running is not always easy, as a women some weeks are harder than others, as a mom we know kids attitudes change by the ticking seconds and that means treadmill times are sometimes cut short and severely interrupted. BUT I keep pushing and praying that one day my outside running will be as successful as my inside running. I am excited for spring and the thought of great runs- but I know I will still have bad days, hard days and frustrating days. I know I will be able to keep pushing and making good choices. I have the support of my family and friends and especially my husband. Since the beginning of our journey he has lost almost 50 lbs and I have lost 25 lbs (15 of that since July 2016), but beyond that I have gained confidence, a new found escape for the hard days and a positive example to my kids. To all those people who don’t think they can be a runner- YOU CAN! One foot in front of the other is all it takes, but know it isn’t always easy. There will be happy tears and frustrating tears, smiles and screams, joy and pain, trials that will try to break you. My journey is my journey and yours will be yours. Find people that will lift you up when you are down and will praise you in your success. Join a running group and just run. I have overcome my fears, I have overcome my doubts, I have overcome myself. I AM a runner. |
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